Testimony Tuesday: Kristie Jackson

I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home.  I was in church most Sundays and one of my earliest memories is being totally enthralled by The Wordless Book.  When I was five or six years old I sat with my mom in our blue rocking chair and prayed to ask Jesus into my heart.

Yet sadly, for two decades, I rested in my eternal security, content to claim Jesus as Savior while stubbornly resisting Him as Lord.  And my life was relatively easy.  I wasn’t faced with any major struggles or heartaches and was well-loved by many wonderful people in my life.  I met my husband, Will, my freshman year at Stetson University and to say that I fell hard for him would be like saying the sun is not cold — factually accurately but ridiculously understated.  And wonder of wonders this rapturous love appeared to be mutual.

Will claimed Jesus as Savior and Lord, but his faith was almost as infantile as my own, and so even though there was a foundation for a Christ-centered relationship, that foundation had a surface area of about one square centimeter and we teetered and balanced as best we could on that little cube, but more often than not we slipped right off with predictably inelegant results.

So after we were married and the illusions of magic dissipated pretty quickly, I knew I needed something else.  In retrospect, I think it was a spiritual identity crisis.  Who was I?  I claimed to be a Christian, but what in my life reflected Christ?  Where was I headed?What was my purpose in life?  Plus there was something unsettling about being the wife of Will Jackson because I was too prideful to be defined by him.  And since he’s a pretty driven, smart, focused, disciplined, interesting, sure-to-be successful kind of guy, being defined by him felt like a real possibility.

By God’s grace, my sister happened to recommend that I try to find a Bible Study Fellowship group.  Will and I had been going to church every week, and were even somewhat involved in a Sunday School class, but about nine months into marriage I started BSF and right away I knew what I needed.  I needed to get my relationship with Jesus straight.  I needed to make Jesus a priority in my life.  And as soon as I made even the tiniest strides toward doing this, things began to change.  I started viewing life through new lenses.  Will was no longer responsible for making me feel treasured or loved or significant or important, because I had a growing recognition that the unconditional love and adoration of my Lord and Savior had been there all along.

Obviously, I have a long way to go, and it is a great comfort to me that Jesus doesn’t abandon projects like I might.  No, he carries them on to completion (Philippians 1:6).  In fact, He’s carrying me on to completion!  He is always drawing me closer, and showing me that He is sufficient.   Through the years I’ve learned that Jesus holds the best answers for all my deepest longings and most nagging questions. He explains where I came from and where I am ultimately going.  He reveals the purpose for my life and through His example I know the morality by which I should live.

My childhood prayer in the rocking chair was really one of self-preservation.   I wanted to escape hell, and while that is vitally important – because hell is a real place where real people go – today Jesus is not merely my means of getting to heaven, but the means by which I see the world.  C.S. Lewis said, “I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”  I want this statement to characterize my life — I want my belief in and obedience to Christ to be evident in everything I do.  I will continue to falter, as I always have, yet I will cling to the wonderful truth that Jesus Loves Me through it all.

8 thoughts on “Testimony Tuesday: Kristie Jackson

  1. Pam says:

    Awesome, awesome, awesome, as always! And it spurs me on … as I need to “tell my story” this Friday at a small group retreat. Hmm…..lots of thinking to do between now and then!!! Wish you could write it for me!

  2. Christine Cross says:

    You write so well, you should write a book! Maybe one day, all your entries will indeed come together in a book… Well done! Love your style and all you shared – thanks!

    • Christine, thank you for your incredibly kind words. I am actually going to try to publish an ebook before Christmas. I’ll have to tell you more about it, but I greatly appreciate your encouragement!

  3. judith m huber says:

    Sweetheart,

    What a beautiful picture of the woman you have become. This brought tears to my eyes and filled my heart with gratitude that I have the honor of being your mom.
    I love you so.

  4. judith m huber says:

    This format has made it possible for even a dummy like me to be able to respond.
    What a delight it is to read what you have to say each week. Love the stories about your boys and Will. I am in awe of you great talent and proud that you are so willing to use it. I am sure that many are touched and enriched by your words.

  5. Moses says:

    Dear Kristie, Did you know that BSF leadership believes in “Unconditional Eternal Security,” a doctrine from the “Reformed Theology” position? I have been blessed mysefl through BSF through many years of personal Bible Study, but I am afraid that layers 3 (lecture) and 4 (BSF notes) are contaminating the pure, perfect, holy Word of God. I am glad that you were strengthened in your knowledge of God through BSF, as I have, but remember that BSF is not perfect, and can cause people to have the false assurance of salvation while practicing a lifestyle of sin. Love in Christ, Moses.

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