Jackson Five Friday: Heartbroken

Friends,

I do not know how those who mourn without hope are able to function.  The desperation of the heartache must be unbearable.  My mom met Jesus on Wednesday, and even though I know I will spend eternity with her, I’m utterly heartbroken.  Since my dad died in 1999, I have called my mom every single day.  In the early years, I never missed a day.  More recently, I’ve let a few days here and there slip by, but that was the exception.  She knew about the day-to-day details of all five of us.  She’d listen and guide and pray over issues at Will’s work, the boys sports and activities, Sammy’s intense hatred of fourth grade and any and everything in between.  She prayed specifically — knowing how I love to laugh — that I’d find a funny friend in Tennessee.  The week before she died I called her while in the car with my very funny friend, Ana.  She said, “Are you with your funny friend?”  Yes, I told her.  When we hung up, I told Ana how my mom had prayed her into my life.  My house has horrible cell phone reception.  The best place to not drop calls every other second is on the front porch.  I cannot tell you the hours I’ve spent chatting and laughing with my mom on this little bench.  The sight of it breaks my heart.

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I called her whenever I was out running errands too.  I can hear her laughing saying, “Costco again!?”  But as much as I’ll never ever get over not seeing her or talking to her again, I’m so happy for my mom.  She’s not struggling to breathe anymore, and she’s with Jesus and all of the many loved ones we’ve lost.

I could tell you a thousand different qualities that made my mom special, but instead I’ll paint a picture of just one aspect of her.  I flew to Michigan on Sunday evening, knowing my mom was not doing well.  That night she slept in her recliner, where she felt she could breathe easiest.  I slept on the couch across from her.  All I had to do to check on her was open my eyes.  On Monday, we had a hospital bed delivered and she slept peacefully there, and I slept in the recliner beside her.  But in the morning, she said she liked the chair better.  So that night, she slept in her recliner again and I slept in the hospital bed beside her.  Every night, as we played musical beds, she’d tell me who we needed to call the next day.  She was too weak to talk much but she wanted to call people and tell them that she loved them.  She wanted them to be sure to know how much they had meant to her.  In her last moments, her priority was loving others.  I’d call and put the phone on speaker and together we had the most incredible conversations.  Even in the middle of her last night, she called out to me names to add to the list.

On Wednesday she woke up with a stronger voice and we had coffee together.  For a few minutes, she seemed to be alright and then she suddenly took a dramatic turn.  My sister Laurie was in the other room, so I went and woke her.  My brother was on a flight to Detroit and she desperately wanted to see him.  He walked in just minutes before she passed into an unconscious state.  Looking up at Jeff as he bent down to kiss her was the last thing she saw.  God was undeniably in the details.  We live in three different states, but we were there with our cherished, incredible mom when she passed peacefully into the arms of Jesus.

Today I am filled with gratitude that I am the daughter of Judy Huber — what a privilege.  Humbled to know that I am also the daughter of the One True King, and that we will live together forever in eternity.  Praising Him from Whom all blessings flow, and cherishing the promises of His Word.

But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.    1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

May we all be ready for the trumpet to sound!

With Love,

Kristie

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9 thoughts on “Jackson Five Friday: Heartbroken

  1. Brenda Phipps says:

    I am so sorry Kristie! I loved the way you talked about her, and brought her great spirit alive to me. I pray for you and your family.

  2. Christine Norling Jones says:

    Love this beautiful reflection on what it is like to mourn with hope. And to acknowledge that it is still devastatingly hard. So sorry for the loss of this amazing woman. Jones prayers are with you.

  3. Veronica Commire says:

    We all love you, Kristie, and we loved your sweet Mom, too. It meant so much to my Mom that she called her on Tuesday night to say goodbye. My heart is breaking for you, Laurie, and Jeff. We are praying for your family. Praise the Lord we will all be together one day in heaven!! What a wonderful hope we have in Jesus! What a beautiful post for your very special Mom. xo

  4. Kimberly Bucher Maher says:

    Oh Kristie – our hearts mourn with yours. We do not grieve without hope, indeed, but we do grieve. Many hugs, friend.

  5. Hilda Jemison says:

    I am so sorry for your loss, Kristie! I know you are rejoicing for your mom’s restored health but grieving her loss from your daily life. Thank you for the sweet tribute.

    Sending you love and prayers! Hilds

  6. Nate Cummins says:

    Kristie, needless to say, you’ve so beautifully depicted your mom. You probably ran into the same problem I did – I just cannot do justice to her memory with words. She lived her life with such fullness, kindness and selflessness. Jude was a “memory maker” for so many people. Her sense of fun and humor came wrapped in an a disposition that MADE you love her. Her intelligence, gave her the power to make you seek her advice/guidance, and feel confident that you got the right “direction”. What a hole I have in my heart, but you’re right – THAT’S ONLY TEMPORARY!! I’m so glad you included that picture of she and your dad in front of the fire place. It’s so them! As a little kid; during their “courting days”, I would see them in just that kind of scene – so, so in love. I would sit with them and they would include me in conversations, like I was THEIR child. Your dad seemed to always get a kick out the things I would say. He often laughed and reminded me of the time after watching this sad story (on T.V.) about a poor little boy who fell into hard times. Your dad asked me what the moral of the story would be and my reply would always make him laugh: “Don’t be poor” was my reply. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people love one another more than you mom and dad. That was truly a match made in heaven. Now, it is a match alive in heaven. The cruelty of separation that your mom endured without her beloved Roy Lee (Royal, as she would put it) has come full circle and they are together again – forever without end.

  7. Miriam Cummins Marriott says:

    Kristie!
    Your post is filled with such sweetness! Your mom was a gem and a gift from God to you and so many others blessed by bright and shining light that she reflected from her Lord. May you sense the presence of the Father of Mercy and God of all comfort close at hand in the days ahead! Maranatha! We will soon all see His face!

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