I recently had a fascinating interaction with a hairdresser. He told me he has the same conversation over and over again. Women sit in his chair and lament that their children do not want children.

He also told me about one client who is in her 50’s. This woman cares for her aging mother and wonders how her mother could possibly get by without the help she is able to provide. She worries about what will happen when she herself begins to require help yet has no children.

These are sad conversations. I have compassion on this man who navigates them daily. Meanwhile, I have multiple friends, roughly my age, who are already blessed with grandbabies. How can these divergent paths be explained? I think it’s just one word: evil. Satan is the father of lies and it’s a lie that anything in this world could be better than family, than trusting and obeying God’s design to procreate.

Jim Carrey said, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” He’s on to something. One of the privileges of success or wealth is to know that it is not the answer. I’m sure you know some very successful people. I’m sure you know some wealthy people. I certainly do and none of them would claim that either is as satisfying as spending time with their families. Nothing we do is as impactful or joyful as building a strong family.

And yet no family is perfect. Even with attentive and loving parents, the world is a fallen place and there will be problems. But a Christian family that tries to live out the teachings of Jesus can point to the perfect peace and perfect belonging that we will enjoy in eternity. Of course there are people who are not blessed with a spouse or with children despite their intentions and desires, but I think their God-given roles are still family-like. We are all called to invest in future generations, to care for the aging in various capacities, to help every person we encounter to know that God loves them.

An older friend of mine has a granddaughter who will not speak to her. The granddaughter’s values do not “align” with her family’s and she has cut off ties with all of them. A willingness to do this should be met with shame by everyone. Every single person in this woman’s life (I think she’s around 30) should be telling her that she’s being ridiculous. A true friend will always encourage forgiveness, and reconciliation, if appropriate.

Satan wants us bitter and alone. Jesus wants to gather us like a hen gathers in her chicks. Satan wants us to focus on being aggrieved. Jesus wants us to be celebrate being grafted into the family of the One True King. Satan wants us cut off from our families and to live in uncertainty about our destiny. Jesus wants us to know that, as believers, nothing can separate us from Him.

Jesus said,“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Matthew 10:16. How are you putting these words into practice today? Do you know who the wolves are? Do you recognize and fight against the lies of our culture? I hope so.

Blessings,

Kristie

Hi Friends,

I started writing this blog in August of 2008. It was a nice outlet for me to think and write deeply about various facets of life with three young sons. On occasion I would write posts specifically to commemorate events that I found particularly amusing or interesting. When I flip through my volumes of the early days from Spur, I have zero recollection of some of the stories. Had I not written about them they’d be forever lost.

So, I am shamelessly admitting up front that part of my motivation here is to remember the events of last night.

Yesterday we drove up to St. Augustine to attend an Alison Krauss & Union Station concert. Will bought the tickets when the tour was announced months ago and we’ve had it on the calendar as our first empty-nester trip. We stayed in a lovely hotel and Ubered to the Amphitheater.

The crowd was especially friendly, and we talked to various people around us. In fact, as we we walked in we saw an older couple we had chatted with at the hotel. When we were introduced to their friends, one woman hugged me “Hello.” As we entered the venue Will said, “Did you just hug that woman?”

But the funniest part was when we met the group sitting in front of us. The woman’s name was Alison (with one “l”) Kraus (with one “s”). After we had talked for a few minutes, Will said, referencing another band member, Jerry Douglas: “It’s funny that’s your name because my name is Jerry Douglas with one ‘r.’”

It was never clear whether they knew he was joking because they proceeded to call him “Jerry” the rest of the night. But the very best part was when we decided to walk partway back to hotel because the Rideshare line was too long. There we were walking down a pretty dark street in street in St. Augustine when a car zoomed by with a woman hanging out the window yelling, “JERRY!!!”

What a delightful time we had! I climbed into bed laughing about “Jerry,” and savoring hearing such fabulous live music. Making sweet memories is so good for your soul. As Ecclesiastes says there is a time for everything, including a time to laugh.

The picture above is of Saint Augustine and his mother Monica. I took this picture yesterday inside the Cathedral Basilica of St. Augustine. In his Confessions, Augustine said that those who knew his mother felt God’s presence in her heart. What a lovely sentiment! We do know that she prayed fervently for her son during his years of rebellion, and we know she was full of joy to know those prayers were ultimately answered.

Anyway I’ll close this with a refrain used as part of closing out the concert last night.

In Your Love I Find Release
A Haven From My Unbelief
Take My Life And Let Me Be
A Living Prayer, My God To Thee

Take My Life And Let Me Be
A Living Prayer, My God To Thee. (written by Ron Block)

With Love,

Kristie

Hi Friends,

I’ve had a winner of a day. First, I finished reading the Old Testament for 2025 (and tomorrow I get to dive into the Book of Matthew). Second, I finished my Continuing Legal Education hours for 2025, making it possible for me to practice law (more on that another time). Third, I whittled down my stack of papers to almost nothing — no unpaid bills, all important documents neatly filed. Perhaps this level of organization is the norm for you. But it is not for me.

The truth is, I am knocking out lots of little things in preparation for my next era. Will and I have a couple of trips coming up (one short, one long) and when we get back from the second one, it will officially be the end of my new-to-empty-nesting sabbatical. And I’m ready. As much as I love walking on the beach whenever I want, or going to swim laps if the notion strikes me, I want and need more structure. Six weeks to myself has been enough. I am struck once again by how I get more done when I have more going on.

Another thing that may have contributed to my winning day mentality is not having much time to doom scroll, which I have to admit I have done a lot of in recent days. It can be so discouraging to see how hateful people can be, how willing they are to take things completely out of context, how quick they are to voice opinions without giving an issue any time or research.

Yes, since Charlie Kirk was assassinated, I have been spending too much time doom scrolling, but I have also opened my Bible each morning in books like Hosea and Jonah and Zephaniah. These books paint a picture of a loving, long-suffering God who will rejoice over us with singing if we will repent.

Then this week, I was struck by this verse in Zechariah: “Thus says the LORD of hosts, Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another, do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart.” (7:9).

In addition to praying for revival in America, I am praying that this verse would be lived out. Let us render true judgments (let us not implicitly or explicitly allow untruths to go unchallenged). Let us be kind and merciful. Let us help the widow and the fatherless. Let us act in ways that do not oppress sojourners and the poor (let our churches care for these people, not the government — this needs its own post, but government “helps” are often a means of oppression). May God’s redeeming love root out the evil that some devise against others. Isn’t it amazing how much is packed into that one little obscure, yet timely, verse?

As always, thank you for reading and abundant blessings on your weekend! And how about reading the New Testament with me these last few months of the year? You can find the daily readings (through December 6) below.

With Love,

Kristie

Friends,

Last week I wrote a post about how we need to submit to God by walking in obedience and trusting His plan and purpose. I argued that we have opportunities daily to practice through microsubmissions. These may be things like overlooking offenses, using formal manners or obeying our parents. I also said that while the idea of submission is repugnant to our culture, we should do it anyway because it is ultimately for our good.

While this is true, I regret writing it. The primary reason we should be worshipping and submitting is because HE IS GOD! It feels like I could rightly be amongst the people R.C. Sproul yelled at: “What is wrong with you people?”

I hope to never again write about how submission benefits me before I argue that it is what we owe the One True King.

Interestingly, on Sunday afternoon my husband and I listened to a Tim Keller sermon that happened to address this exact point.

Keller said, “We hate the idea of a king. We hate the idea of someone who has rights over us. We hate the idea of a king who has a yoke on us that says, ‘You belong to me. You are not your own. You must do as I say.’”

Our lives are marked by a perpetual search for belonging, even those with the most secular worldview would admit as much. Yet we will not know true belonging so long as we reject the yoke. It is this symbol that so aptly depicts our ultimate belonging, and this principle that our sinful nature so consistently and adamantly rejects.

Keller also quoted George MacDonald who said, “The central conviction in hell is ‘I am my own.'”

The truth is that you are not your own. You were bought at a price and the cost was immense. Jesus offers to put his head in the yoke with you, to love and to guide you, but you need to be yielded and trusting. How wonderful that even in the midst of this world that feels so out of control and full of hate, we can trust these gentle words of Jesus, which solve the paradox of belonging.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11: 28-30.

I am praying that revival breaks out all across our nation and the world. It is how we will know rest for our souls.

With Love,

Kristie

Hi Friends,

The term microaggression is not a favorite of mine since I believe we are called to overlook offenses (Proverbs 19:11), but the term undoubtedly planted the seed for a new one that occurred to me on Sunday.

Our sermon, based on Psalm 100, was excellent. I particularly liked the teaching on verse 3 which says, “Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.”

My pastor said, “We are not our own.” As I was taking notes, that’s when the new term came to me: microsubmission. We should regularly acknowledge that we are not our own. We are His. We are sheep. We are His sheep. These acknowledgments are microsubmissions. We should be in church each week to worship and to acknowledge we are His. We should wake up each day, thanking the Lord for a new day, acknowledging that we are His and that He loves us with an unquenchable love.

On a different, but somewhat related note, I think we can apply the microsubmission principle to many aspects of our lives. It is useful to remind ourselves that the world is not about us. We are here to be like Jesus — to serve, not to be served. We are here to treat others well, often swallowing our own pride to do it: microsubmission. We are called to forgive others as we have been forgiven which can be a microsubmission, or it can be a daily battle only accomplished through the Holy Spirit.

Every time I visit the South, I am reminded of how much I admire good manners. It’s not just about pleasantries; it is a posture of the heart to treat others with the utmost respect. It’s a microsubmission and one I wish was more widely valued. The act of the will to use formal manners requires you to surrender a tiny little piece of your pride. What could be more worthy of practice? Plus good manners, a smile, and an ability to converse make encounters with strangers delightful. Why did we ever get away from teaching formal manners?

The parent/child relationship can be sanctifying in all sorts of ways. We understand a tiny bit about how God loves us when have a baby. We understand a little bit about how God knows better than we do. We understand a minuscule fraction of Jesus’ willingness to die for us. The sanctification can go the other way as well. Submitting to parents in obedience and in the microsubmission of using respectful manners helps a child maintain a soft heart and a godly reverence for rightful authority.

We know that in the end, every knee will bow. In my Bible reading plan I am in Ezekiel. It’s a tough book. There’s a lot of judgment, a whole lot of judgment. But the phrase “Then they will know that I am God” appears more than twenty times. If our microsubmissions are daily, even hourly, doesn’t it make sense that we have an advantage? No one can stand in front of our Holy, Perfect, Almighty God. We can live into that ultimate reality by practicing now.

As an aside, maybe you are not a Christian. Maybe the the idea of submitting to God is off-putting to you. I want you to know that the God of the Bible is so full of love that even our praise, worship and submission ultimately benefit us. The happiest people I’ve ever known are the ones who praise, worship, obey and submit the best. Yes, it may sound paradoxical, but as G.K. Chesterton said, “Paradox is indeed at the heart of Christianity, for it is precisely the paradoxical shape of its doctrines that allows it to answer deep and philosophical problems.”

The least will be greatest, the last will be first. Justice and Mercy met on the Cross. And submission is joyful freedom.

With Love,

Kristie

Hi Friends,

Will and I went to the gym this morning and then I took a short walk on the beach to see this sunrise. God is so good to give me such a lovely morning to ponder this new era of my life.

His kindness to me feels so tender and loving. Yesterday we visited a church in Tuscaloosa that ended up being too far from campus to be a regular choice, but the sermon felt like it was just for me. It was exactly what I needed to hear and probably the only time I will ever be there.

We stopped on the way back to campus to take a few pictures along the river. There was only one other person at the park, a woman named Erma, sitting there studying Ephesians. Sweet Erma took pictures of the three of us and wished us well.

On the way to the airport Will and I hit a favorite lunch spot, and chatted about new things we might do as empty nesters. Our connecting flight in Atlanta was delayed and so we hit the SkyClub. We do not travel that much, but wonder of wonders the gentlemen who was checking us into the lounge was a guy named Eddie. We know Eddie! In May of 2024, Eddie helped us get to graduation at University of Tennessee despite some crazy cancellations and delays. He remembered us too. What are the chances that this sweet man would be part of our firstborn’s graduation story AND our youngest son’s send off?

Yesterday I got quite a few texts of friends checking on me. I felt prayed for and loved in so many ways. As the sun rises on this new season, I am filled with gratitude for how God has felt so present in the details. I’m in awe that the grace upon grace that has marked my life never seems to fade.

And yet I know that change of this magnitude is not diminished by a few sweet little details and a gorgeous morning. Just nine days ago we attended a funeral of a man who spiraled into a depression when his only child went to college, and I can sympathize. Change is hard. When I lost my brother Craig in 2002 I felt like having an infant son to care for was the best thing for me. The sweetness of a darling but needy baby forces you to put one foot in front of the other, to march on. And major change, even when it’s happy change, can also require resolve. Yesterday’s sermon was about making every effort. That’s going to be my mantra these next few months, as I try to finish some writing projects before I go get a real job.

As the pastor said yesterday — in essence — there is power to make every effort. We can tap into that power by knowing and relying on God’s “precious and very great promises.”

What “precious and very great promises” do you especially need to meditate on today?

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises… 2 Peter 1:3-4a

Blessings,

Kristie

Hi Friends,

I hope you are having a fabulous start to the summer! In 2024 my oldest son graduated from college and we ended up doing a seventeen day stretch together, spanning a wedding in Virginia, Olympic Trials in Indiana, and a family vacation in Michigan. We were mostly with lots of friends and family, but had quite a bit of one-on-one time amidst those seventeen days driving from place to place.

This year my middle son graduated from college and although we didn’t do much of a multi-state tour, we did have some sweet one-on-one time. One day we drove to Fort Lauderdale (just an hour south), hopped on a high speed ferry and spent the day in the Bahamas. The weather was perfect, the seas were calm and we will never forget it.

This new era with our sons being in three different places this fall feels like an invitation to make special memories with just them. Whether Will and I both pop in for the weekend, or I go for just a night, I can envision doing things that each would specifically enjoy. It’s fantastic when we can all be together but I hope to make the most of this new season.

Plus, it’s biblical. God has made us in His image but also as individuals, uniquely reflective of His glory. We should love and affirm our sons as the one-of-a-kind men that they are.

Do you find it easier to engage with loved ones as a group or one-on-one? We can always grow in the grace of loving others by more fully understanding how we are loved without condition and beyond all measure.

This passage from Ephesians 3 conveys such tender, one-on-one love from a faithful God.

“…so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith — that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may filled with all the fullness of God.”

May we be rooted and grounded in Love that surpasses knowledge enabling us to pour into others!

With Love,

Kristie

P.S. The throwback is from ten years ago today — the last day of school in 2015. The beach picture is from Bimini on May 28th.